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Poems By Poet Alessandra Liverani  10/8/2015 3:09:14 PM
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- It's All Relative: : Humour

My mother’s brother’s sister’s name is Grace
She’s my aunt and likes to go from place to place
My mother’s sister’s brother’s name is Brad
He’s my uncle and he is my cousin’s Dad

My grandmother on my mother’s side
Is my maternal gran, she is my grandfather’s bride
She also is my father’s mother-in-law
And not surprisingly they often go to war

My cousin is the nephew of my mother
His father happens to be my mother’s brother
My aunty’s niece is in fact myself
If you're confused please don't look at me for help

(Sydney, Australia - 2005)
Alessandra Liverani



- The Dining Table: : Humour

I have some friends, a man and wife
I'll tell you a bit about their life
So that you can get a grip
On what constitutes a relationship

I visited them a short time ago
Looked down with shock and had to know
Why their dining table's smooth veneer
Carefully protected for at least a year

With coaster, placemat for all food and drink
To not use such a thing would be unthink
Was christened with not just a little mark
But that there was an unsightly gouge in this bark

'What happened here? ' I questioned Sue
She seemed to have something else to do
I looked at Vince but he turned away
No information would he convey

I needed answers so back to Sue I turned
How this happened would be learned
Sheepishly she mumbled an argument began
Her anger built but she had a plan

To place her plate upon said table
With as much force as she was able
So that no damage would be done
But still make a statement, and the battle won

She didn't count on her husband's reaction
To be sure of complete satisfaction
His coffee mug had to smash down hard
And alas we have our table, scarred

(Sydney, Austrlalia - 2006)
Alessandra Liverani



- In The Middle Of Nowhere: : Humour

I live in the middle of nowhere, where nowhere's all around
And in the middle of nowhere, there are many nowhere sounds
Colourful birds in the middle of nowhere screech and squawk and trill
A choir of frogs sing in chorus in the centre of nowheresville

Sometimes I go to somewhere, where somewhere's all around
And in the middle of somewhere there are many somewhere sounds
Cars in the middle of somewhere screech their tyres and blare their horns
Jackhammers hammer, sirens wail singing the cacophonous somewhere song

Then I love to get back to nowhere, where nowhere's all around
Because in the middle of nowhere, there's something all around
Peace and harmony and stillness are everywhere I see
Right in the middle of nowhere is where I like to be

(Sydney, Australia - 2010)
Alessandra Liverani



- The Auditors Are Coming: : Humour

The auditors are coming, a week from today
Everything that you can, please put it away
Those things on the shelf that have sat there for months
Put them away, we’re playing hide and hunt

The auditors are coming, they’ve boxes to tick
Don’t leave anything lying around on which they can pick
Those innocent looking tapes, what secrets do they hold
Only the whole financial record of the company’s gold!

The auditors are coming, for audit type 7799
Are we compliant with all of the guidelines
Are we in accordance with every one of the regulations
So all boxes can be ticked, and we can have celebrations!

The auditors are coming, they’re coming today
Quick, hide that cable, put it out of the way
The auditors are coming, they’re right at the door
Oh just shove the lot of it under the floor

(Sydney, Australia - 2007)
Alessandra Liverani
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Poems By Poet Alessandra Liverani