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Poems By Poet Alessandra Liverani  9/2/2014 11:34:35 PM
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  Best Poems From
  ALESSANDRA LIVERANI
 
 
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  5.     

- Where Are My Glasses? : : Humour

Where are my glasses, where did they go?
I’ve searched high, and I’ve searched low
I looked on the shelf and behind the TV
Where, oh where can my glasses be?

I’ve looked on top of the table, behind the door
Inside the cupboard and inside the drawer
Beside the lounge and under it too
I went outside and checked inside an old shoe

I walked down the hallway and up the stairs
In front of me was a bicycle lying right there
I walked around it and jumped over the toys
Left there by those most lazy of boys

I walked past a doorway, then crawled through a hole
Which led to a cupboard that only contained bowls
I’ve looked everywhere, under each and every bed
The only place I forgot was on top of my head

(Sydney, Australia - 2005)
 
Alessandra Liverani
   
 

   
   
 

  6.     

- Gallbladder Removal: : Humour

The doctor advised Leigh’s gallbladder must be removed
A few simple snips and his health would be improved
She told him to sign up for a Cholecystectomy, Laparoscopic
Four incisions are sliced for surgery microscopic

First they’d inflate his abdominal cavity with CO2
Then they’d get out their telescopes for a fantastic view
Of his gallbladder, bile duct, cystic duct and liver
Cut free his gallbladder and through an incision deliver

This organ, already emptied of its painful stones
So we’d be hearing less of Leigh’s whimpering moans
We wish him good luck, they say the risk is very low
We’ll see his smiling face soon with a healthier glow

(Sydney, Australia - 2008)
 
Alessandra Liverani
   
 

   
   
 

  7.     

- Making Plurals In English: : Humour

The plural in English is usually made
By adding an 's', so don't be afraid
Of making this sound so that it can be heard
At the end of the plural form of a word

Then there will be no doubt in anyone's mind
Whether your meaning is of the singular or plural kind
An extra syllable is needed when patch becomes patches
And take note that the plural of batch is batches

Of course there are always exceptions to every rule
The fish that swim around in a school
Are still just fish, they don't become fishes
But the plural of dish will always be dishes

The plural of goose is, as we all know, geese
Although the plural of moose is definitely not meese
One mouse, but a plague of them would be called mice
Though to call houses hice is something for which I do not give advice

Hypothesis in plural form translates to hypotheses
And parenthesis, of course, becomes parentheses
But your garden variety of plurals, just stick an 's' on
Next week we'll talk about the 's' for possession

(Sydney, Australia - 2006)
 
Alessandra Liverani
   
 

   
   
 

  8.     

- The Auditors Are Coming: : Humour

The auditors are coming, a week from today
Everything that you can, please put it away
Those things on the shelf that have sat there for months
Put them away, we’re playing hide and hunt

The auditors are coming, they’ve boxes to tick
Don’t leave anything lying around on which they can pick
Those innocent looking tapes, what secrets do they hold
Only the whole financial record of the company’s gold!

The auditors are coming, for audit type 7799
Are we compliant with all of the guidelines
Are we in accordance with every one of the regulations
So all boxes can be ticked, and we can have celebrations!

The auditors are coming, they’re coming today
Quick, hide that cable, put it out of the way
The auditors are coming, they’re right at the door
Oh just shove the lot of it under the floor

(Sydney, Australia - 2007)
 
Alessandra Liverani
   
 
 
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Poems By Poet Alessandra Liverani