|
|
|
Best Poems From
ALESSANDRA LIVERANI
|
|
| |
|
|
21.
|
My Cigarette, My Friend
I've got a bit of sinus
My throat's a little bit dry
My lungs are a little bit wheezy
But I'm not going to cry
All my teeth have been stained yellow
My fingers and nails too
Some say it's the cigarettes I smoke
They say that they accrue
I think that that is an outright lie
No, cigarettes do me no harm
They are my very best friends
To me they have lots of charm
Do you want me to explain it
All the benefits that fags give to me
Well, where do you want me to start?
I'll tell you the lot, from A to B
Firstly, there is the advantage
Of having to buy them everyday
It puts order in your life
And makes sure that you won't stray
Then, of course, each time you smoke one
Your withdrawal pangs disappear
Not for very long, mind you
But you'll have another, have no fear
Now cigarette butts, that's a tough one
I can't seem to find an advantage there
Maybe just the satisfaction of ridding myself of them
Getting those nasty things out of my hair
So when they bury me in the ground
And place my gravestone up above
I'd like for them to put on it
I died for my cigarette friends, with love
Alessandra Liverani
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
22.
|
- Cama Cama Cama Cama Cama Not a Lion:: Humour
My father is a camel and my mother is a llama
And that is how I was born a hybrid called a cama
Created through the procedure of artificial insemination
Not via a camel/llama eyelash fluttering flirtation
My father most probably would have squashed my mother flat
If they'd tried the common method of breeding a little brat
He's a dromedary camel with a hump of fatty tissue
Half a tonne of him would have caused my llama mama issues
Humans love my llama wool and my llama disposition
And to have me camel size would be a wondrous acquisition
74 chromosomes are present in both my papa and my mama
So I am a fertile hybrid who can make little baby camas
I'm not sure of my future, if I'll be just a weird exhibit
If the journey of my hybrid is only a fleeting visit
But I'll do my very best to grow big and strong and woolly
So that the good traits from my parents can be enjoyed fully
Alessandra Liverani
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
23.
|
- Gallbladder Removal: : Humour
The doctor advised Leighs gallbladder must be removed
A few simple snips and his health would be improved
She told him to sign up for a Cholecystectomy, Laparoscopic
Four incisions are sliced for surgery microscopic
First theyd inflate his abdominal cavity with CO2
Then theyd get out their telescopes for a fantastic view
Of his gallbladder, bile duct, cystic duct and liver
Cut free his gallbladder and through an incision deliver
This organ, already emptied of its painful stones
So wed be hearing less of Leighs whimpering moans
We wish him good luck, they say the risk is very low
Well see his smiling face soon with a healthier glow
(Sydney, Australia - 2008)
Alessandra Liverani
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
24.
|
- Me Telly's On The Blink: : Humour
Hello Bob, it's Archie, me telly's on the blink
Without me telly on it's even hard for me to think
I watch it of an evening snuggled up beneath me doona
Can you come round. Not later, I'd rather it were sooner
'Cos every night I watch it and it helps me cop some Zed's
It calms me down and stops all thoughts from spinnin' in me 'ead
Can you tell me Archie, exactly what's wrong with your television
Describe the symptoms to me with clarity and precision
It's got these annoyin' lines that are runnin' up and down
Are you sure they're vertical replied Bob with a puzzled frown
Your TV as I remember is quite an ancient beast
It's been at least two decades since that model was released
One of that era would surely have lines of a horizontal direction
Are you sure they're vertical, after considered reflection
'Course I know me vertical from me horizontal slant
Get over here now, I can't stand all day and rant
But Archie, your television is resting on its side
So horizontal seems vertical, if logic be applied
'Course I watch it like that, I'm lying in me bed
And it saves me the trouble of havin' ta lift me 'ead
(Sydney, Australia - 2010)
Alessandra Liverani
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|