Home | Contact Us

Poems By Poet Barry A. Lanier  8/1/2014 8:51:36 AM
Search For Poems & Poets:


Barry A. Lanier   Best Poems From
<< prev. page

Page: 1 10 20 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 50 60 70 80 86

next page >>



bHow To Get Rid Of Your Girl

This is an extension of the series 'How To' intended only for information and entertainment reasons.

1) The first way is to start saying 'I love you', a bit more often than you usually do, then day by day increase the intensity and frequency. Thinking you want to carry the relationship to the next level, BAM! she leaves you.
2) The second way is to become hypersensitive, expressing your emotions in a dramatic way, even crying at times. By the third session, BAM! she will leave you
3) The third way is in your dancing technique. Dance like a moron when you go out to a club. Women love dancing and by the third outing BAM! she leaves you.
4) The fourth way is a very simple one. Just be the self-centered idiot that you really are instead of following the steps in the previous sessions and BAM! she will leave you.
5) The fifth and most extreme method is a multiple method. First start wearing deoderant and cologne she hates, then in increments start cross-dressing, first wearing girls panties, then evolve into a little mascara, then to finish it off, the lipstick and BAM! she leaves you.
Barry A. Lanier



bHow To Keep Your Girl

An extension of the series of 'How To' for the guys out there this one how to keep your girl assuming you followed the steps in 'How To Get A Girl'
1) Guys don't try to solve all her problems. She doesn't need you to tell her what is right and what is wrong. She only needs you to sit through a session of woes and patiently listen to what she says. If you aren't interested, fake it, and act genuinely concerned.
2) Say what you mean because you can't bluff and con your girl. Women unlike men can read body language. They can tell when you lie by your body language and reading your eyes....and they have memories like elephants
3) Don't argue with your girl, you cannot win...and should you say an unkind word...remember the elephant...you shall pay for years to come
4) Encourage and React- Two Key Words.....always encourage your girl for her successes and her attitudes in failure. Always notice and comment on new clothes and new haircuts.....Brownie Points +10
5) Chores- Guys I know it'll be tough and a blow to your self-esteem, but learn how to wash and dry clothes, ironing your own shirts, and washing the dishes..you'll be surprised...Brownie Points +15
6) Don't Flirt- Guys she may be the silent type but if she perceives that you are flirting....Brownie Points -20
7) Surprise Her- An extension of 'How To Get A Women'-cook her a candlelight meal at home, send her cards and red roses for no reason...Brownie Points +10
8) Never Talk- About old girlfriends....even thought they won't admit this it makes them very insecure and angry
9) Communication- Listen more than Talking...Brownie Points +12
10) Hobbies- Make a point to enjoy some of her hobbies with her, even if you are not genuinely interested, become interested

Gosh, I', exhausted, pulling these life saving tips from the repressed cerebellum matter, keep the passion flowing, the peas in the pot, and the ham cooking.
Barry A. Lanier




Circling one blossom
Hovering in consideration
Of fragrant delay
Barry A. Lanier



bI Asked God

Being a graduate student,
Daylong didactic interludes
Diversity and racism
I had to know the answer

So I asked 'God what color are you? '
He responded ' I am that I am'
'Yes God but what color are you? '
Again, ' I am that I am? '

Using my psychology on God I asked.
'But what color shall I assign you? '
God responded.'What color is the wind? '
Then he said, 'What color is the rain? '

Replying, 'You've gotten me with the paradox? '
Then he said, ' What color would you have me? '
Replying, ' God, I don't care, I just need to know.'
God replied, 'Well then son, I am the color of your spirit.'
Barry A. Lanier
<< prev. page

Page: 1 10 20 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 50 60 70 80 86

next page >>


BEST POEMS:  (Click on a topic to list and read the poems)
 angel poems
beautiful poems
death poems
friend poems
 girl poems
home poems
hope poems
kiss poems
 life poems
loss poems
love poems
music poems
 nature poems
rain poems
school poems
sex poems
 soldier poems
summer poems
sun poems
war poems
(c) Poems are the property of their respective owners.
All information has been reproduced here for educational and informational purposes to benefit site visitors, and is provided at no charge.. 
Contact Us | About Us | Copyright notice | Privacy statement

Poems By Poet Barry A. Lanier