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Poems By Poet Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer  10/2/2014 5:26:04 AM
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  CHAOTIC LIFE AKA CURLY MER
 
 
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  53.     

Cry My Heart Out

I want to cry my heart out
to get rid of the memories,
the hurt and the pain..
I want to get rid of my miserable past
of anger, miseries, and sadness
I want to be able to look at someone
and honestly say that I had a good childhood..
That I was never hated by my own family
that I never tried suicide at a young age.
I want to be able to say that I was happy
and never stupid..
That I had the best father in the world
and a mother that was always there.
I want to be able to say that I was never crazy,
and that I never witness domestic violence from my parents.
That I was surrounded by love and happiness
rather than beatings and tears.
That I had someone I could trust
someone other than God.
But those are just lies.
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 

   
   
 

  54.     

Crying

Crying morning, afternoon, nights
Crying inside out
Crying until my tears runs out
Crying for freedom signs

All those times that I’ve been crying,
I realized something really stupid
Crying does not change anything
It’s just tears that I’m wasting away
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 

   
   
 

  55.     

Deep

Can't you see the lie behind my smile?
The cry behind my laugh?
The hurt behind each word?
Can't you tell I'm unhappy?
My essence has been soaked out of me
Rage and anger are imprisoned inside my chest
All I can do is pretend that I'm alright
That's all I have control over..
Take a step in my shoes and live my nightmare
Feel the pain in my heart
Watch the things and people I love get hurt
Hear the nonstop chaos surrounding me
Taste the bitterness of my life..

We all talk of happiness,
we all talk of love
But that's just two ideal things
that we will never fully reach

Not me at least.
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 

   
   
 

  56.     

Do You Remember

Do you remember the summer...
Our summer...?
The afternoon walks and talks,
how you would open up to me and share your thoughts about everything?
Do you remember what we did on my birthday?
Arms around me in the park while we laughed
and I told you about one of my secrets..
Do you remember how we almost kissed?
Probably not,
'cause I'm sure your lips only remembered that other girl..
Do you remember the first dance?
It makes me smile just thinking about it,
did it happen to you too?
We walked holding hands in the dark
and then you took a picture of us gleaming..
whatever happened to that picture?
Do you also remember that day that we got away
and walked to a place where no living soul was in sight?
It was awkward, I remember,
because I wouldn't talk and you didn't know how to make me talk.
but the present,
the one that I stayed up all night to do,
do you still have that?
I hope you do because I put a lot of thought and energy into that gift..
And then,
do you remember the last day?
Holding on to that girl at the party,
as you smiled and waved at me?
What was I to you? A joke?
You grabbed me as I was with my friends and asked for a dance,
were you serious?
Do you know how hurt I was?
And the note...
do you remember that too?
I hope you do,
'Cause every single words and feelings I expressed on that note was honest and real.
Something that I wish you still were...
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 
 
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Poems By Poet Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer