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Poems By Poet Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer  2/27/2015 6:40:11 PM
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  CHAOTIC LIFE AKA CURLY MER
 
 
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  69.     

Wishing Upon A Non-Living Star

I once wished on a star,
A star so bright,
So clear,
So special to me
That I thought my wish would come true

I put all my life,
All my hopes,
And wishes on that star
It blinked at me,
smiled and walked away carrying my life, hopes and wishes on its back

Days, months, YEARS
went by fastly
And that star
Still hasn’t return
to solve my miseries
Instead,
All my wishes stay unsolved
and all my life, hopes and wishes
Slowly fades away, as I slowly pass away…

…I wished upon a non-living star…
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 

   
   
 

  70.     

....

I know this is all my fault
I was the one to let go of you
after you told me to never do that...
I was your world and for the longest time,
you were mines.
Then life & decisions & depression changed all of that
I was so miserable and strongly believed that If I was alone
things would be much better.
I didn't feel loved.
I underestimated my meanings in life.
In other words, I was suicidal.
& just like that,
I broke my promises...
I told you I needed a break...
That probably was the biggest mistake of my life

I look back on our old relationship
and the cute little poems we wrote for each other.
I feel like a retard. Stupid ass retard.
We had it all. Everything was going great.
But I had to mess it up...
Like I always do....

I'm trying so hard to build that trust & love we had
But I am realizing that once something is broken,
there is a fat chance that it will never be the same.
This is true for us.

I can not force you to love me again.
I can not force you to trust me again.
I had my chances & I ruined it all.

But why am I complaining?
I brought this all on myself.
I deserve this. I really do.
It's about time I learn about keeping my promises
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 

   
   
 

  71.     

Ambivalence

Often times I wonder,
what is wrong with me?
I seem to have a weird way of appreciating the things and people I should be grateful for.
I don't take advantages that are right in front of me.
Instead I let loose and let my emotions play.
I talk the talk,
but I sometimes don't know how to walk the walk.
Things like that make me think.
What am I gaining from any of these experiences?
Everything I gain, I already know.
I know I am stupid,
I know I am weird,
I know I am crazy,
but what does it prove?
That I am abnormal?
But wait,
I know that too.
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 

   
   
 

  72.     

At the End of the Day

The art of making a girl feel special,
you got it, no doubts.
The art of using her and breaking her heart,
you master it too, no lies.
Buy her flowers one moment and then
yell at her the next.
Pick her right back up, and make her
feel like she's better than the rest.
You got your game going,
it's excelling up high.
However, when honesty come in,
all you do is hide.
You're too afraid to admit the wrongs you do;
Too afraid to take the responsibility for the heart you screwed
But it's alright, it's okay
You're the one who lose at the end of the day.
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 
 
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Poems By Poet Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer