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Poems By Poet Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer  11/22/2014 9:20:36 PM
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  CHAOTIC LIFE AKA CURLY MER
 
 
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  141.     

Who I Was, Who I Am

I finally figured out who I was.
I'm was not nice,
strong,
pretty,
smart,
or amazing.
What I really was was a jerk.
My past can prove all of it.
I've hurt people,
I've hurt myself..
everything I shouldn't have done.
I blame people for my downfalls,
and never took the time to realize that
all of it is my fault.
I can't be looked on as a role model anymore,
I can't keep receiving these compliments.
What I need to do now
is fix who I've become.
A slap in the face wouldn't be enough
to get me back on my place.
I need myself
and time.
Alone.

It's time to get back on the road,
time to stop being a hypocrite
and take my own advice
to do something good with it.
It's time to be honest with myself
and to define who I really am.
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 

   
   
 

  142.     

Why is it so hard?

I sit
Blank page in front of me
I say,
I am gonna write a happy poem today
I am gonna prove that I have fun with life
.....
I can't write anything
Can't express any happiness in a poem
Why is it so hard?
It's so easy to write when things are not right
When I'm depressed,
Disappointed, annoyed,
Heartbreaken...
Why can't I write when I'm happy
And filled with joy,
Excitement,
Love?
Why is it so hard?
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 

   
   
 

  143.     

Within

Lost hopes
heavy disappointments
deep scars
and heart displacements
battles fought
memories erased
all the thoughts
suddenly replaced

Journeys uncovered
sadness released
all the above
gradually increase
as life make its way
setling in the dark
I must pray
that I don't fall apart

We all need support,
especially through the pain
but I'm just one of the girls
that keep it all within
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 

   
   
 

  144.     

You Are One Too Pt2

I'm sorry.
Something I say so often because I am truly sorry.
I like to apologize for others, it helps break down grudges in my head and after all, everything is always my fault even when it's not.
So I apologize for you,
And myself.
I'm sorry.
I did not realize that you were clueless.
I did not understand that you were so blind to the kind of love that I was giving out to you; I thought it was clear.
Let me explain.
I loved you,
With every bits and pieces of my soul.
I never felt this way.
I craved your attention and presence every day that God gave me,
Because foolishly I was convinced that you were all mine.
I should have listened the first times you hesitated to say the words,
I should have never proceeded on with the emotions, but my heart desired it more than the brain could resist it.
I'm sorry for loving you so hard,
And being passionate to these feelings you didn't want.
I won't ever mistake you for my lover again,
You made me understand that loud and clear.
I promise you it won't happen again.
 
Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer
   
 
 
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Poems By Poet Chaotic Life aka Curly Mer