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Poems By Poet Lawrence S. Pertillar  10/25/2014 1:13:19 PM
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  LAWRENCE S. PERTILLAR (February/'47)
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Sunsets Come To Make Me Wish

The glow of colored sunsets,
Makes me think again...
Of places I've been,
And where tomorrow brings me.

Remind me of the ways,
How a blooming can end...
From a start that began.

Those sunsets,
Come to make me wish...
For such beauty like this,
To stay until the dawning comes to lift...
The dew as Sun rises,
Clearing morning mist.

Those sunsets,
Come to make me wish...
For beauty like this,
To never go.
Lawrence S. Pertillar



The Effects of Racism

I was once invited to participate,
In a seminar.
To discuss the effects of racism,
Conducted many miles away in an isolated
Remote area
Distanced from where the effects took place.
Near my home.
And I was to be the only Black to appear,
On this prestigious panel.

I declined the offer.
Since I felt it was ridiculous,
To remove myself away from those 'effects'
While in discussion with others,
Who kept perpetuated the acceptance
Of expressed indifferences.

Plus I had attended another affair,
At the same location...
As others listened intently,
While I explained reasons for wearing my hair
In dreads!
And if it had an affect on my identity.

I was then asked to come again,
Next time I was in the area.
As if these 'settings' would be missed,
In my life!
And those who 'sympathized' with my plight,
Would embrace my need to receive their acceptance.
With an understanding of my internal turmoil.
Which, of course, had to depress,
My sensibilities.

Only an eyewitness experiencing this,
Would appreciate the sacrifices I make.
Living amongst those who have not been so 'chosen'
To escape from their deprived and substandard conditions.
Inflicted upon them by those less liberal of deed.

I feel so blessed to be honored,
By those 'willing' to share their comfort zones!
There is something about my own environment,
That affords me the freedom to express less pretentiousness.

Although I must say this,
Being a 'victim' of those who are racists...
Has, at times, been to my benefit.

At least I know where they are coming from.
And I have been given opportunities to avoid them!
With a choice to leave them and their preceptions,
'Impressed' upon their limited consciousness.
And I,
Could leave them alone to glorify their intentions.
Lawrence S. Pertillar



The Implementation Is Seldom Unchanged

Those with a kept deep faith,
Have been able to see through...
The ways and games played,
By the ones fed to feed...
On directives taught by demons.

'I too am followed while walking as Black.'

~This is not about being profiled.
But then again this will remind you of that.~

The implementation is seldom unchanged,
When there is a teasing treated by temptation.
And being colorblind to admit in these times,
Is only admitted in places where diversity is solicited.
Demons are on a mission to add anyone to their lists.

Those with kept faith and refuse to play,
Seem to be the ones picked to blame...
With their happiness and peace of mind,
Found to find to be scrutinized by critics.
And those conscious know this has little to do with color.
Lawrence S. Pertillar



To Be Free of Not Having Children

My mother would have my sister and I...
As kids,
To go look for a nice sized switch.
Then strip it before she whipped us with it!

And then dared us to cry...
As if we weren't already hurting inside.
Then made us stand up straight,
As if at attention.
Telling us not to roll our eyes.
And not a word she wanted heard mentioned.

One day I did something...
And I chose from my mother to run.
I was stunned she was running right behind me fast.
She snatched me by the neck,
And proceeded to spank my ass!

My mother played softball,
And my father had been a boxer.
Do you think I have survived all these years...
Trying to out foxed those two.
Knowing what they could do...
And convinced they did well at what they did!

We were not told twice,
To do something again they said they did not like.
And my father did not have to raise a finger.
All he did was use his eyes.
'Daddy, please! Don't look at me like that! '
But my mother on the other hand,
Commanded well our ship!
Whenever she began to raise her voice...
Mimmie and I knew we were heading for something quick!
And crying we would do first...
Because we knew there was no exit!

I can hear my mother's voice today.
If I had threatened to call 911.
She would hand me the phone and tell me to dial.
And if the police should arrive...
They would discover a missing child.

Both of my parents were extremely humorous.
My mama did not play,
If we did not obey!
In those days when parenting
Was out of the hands of the government!

And although we may have grown up 'slightly' dysfunctional.
Dysfunctions and all...
We are happy we grew up the way we did.

And if I had children,
Living today as these 'hardhead' children do...
I wouldn't dare them to call 911.
That option?
Not available!
Not if I'm to play poppa.
They wouldn't get a chance to!

And I might be visited as I sat in prison!
But any child of mine...
Would get a rod struck to their behind.
Like lightening...hot and sizzling.
Sparing me the grief that today's parents find.

My children would pay me attention.
And we together would share respect.
Perhaps that's why I live my life blessed.
To be free of not having children!
I could not stand by as they lived lives,
Attracted to standards bathed in degradation.
I'm not 'that' patriotic!

And to live without feeling guilt...
Or in a remorse,
That leaves me in debt AND regret!
I am grateful to be that blessed...

I know my limitations.
And I am glad I do not have children,
Insisting to see me pushed to them!
I love my life lived...
Without displaying a rage that drives me crazed,
And confined!
Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Poems By Poet Lawrence S. Pertillar